Musings

I'm not even sure if that's how you spell that word. Usually, I pride myself in correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation. But tonight I just can't bring myself to care.

I've been reading a couple of new blogs lately. This week, two very interesting and very different blogs have "fallen into my lap." I'm so glad I don't believe in coincidences, though. I believe in God's sovereinty in all things. Even things that seem silly, like blogs. I've been challenged by two very different sets of people. Both have challenged my faith, and my Father has used both of these people to convict me of very serious sin in my life. Sin that I am sometimes pretty good at hiding. Although those that know me well don't see too far past the facade.

It's late. Especially for me. I'm usually in dream land at this point. But after spending well over an hour reading one of those new blogs, I decided that a relaxing bubble bath was in order. I needed to think about some things. I needed some time to talk to Jesus. I decided that now would be a good time to share my random musings. Some are deeper than others. So if you care to know things on my mind, please feel free to read on.

1.  I want to be a better listener. I tend to make things about me...ALL THE TIME. It's ridiculous really. I can't even believe I have friends at this point. I'm sorry. I want to be better. I really do care, I guess I'm just not good at showing it. I want to get better. I will get better.

2.   I have a really great husband. Seriously. I take him for granted every single day. I complain and nag him and probably drive him insane. Luckily, I married someone who respects the institute of marriage and fears God, otherwise he may have left me a long time ago! :) Today, he got up and went to work. He came home for lunch, changed clothes, and went to work on the deck that he's been building me. As a Christmas present. That I didn't even have to ask for. After a few hours of work, he got out more Christmas decorations for the yard that I've been bugging him about for 2 weeks. That project got interupted by another, bigger project. My wonderful husband spent the remainder of the afternoon, and most of the evening, working with our neighbor to install a new door on our house. This is a HUGE deal! They worked. And worked. And worked. For over 4 hours. And NEVER complained. It's still not finished, but at 7:30 he finally came in. Then he spend the rest of his evening snuggling and playing with Lorelai. He adores her. And she absolutely cannot get enough of her Daddy. I am lucky. That was a lot for one number, but I just couldn't resist:)

3.   I am very thankful for good neighbors. This guy knows Jeremy from work. He volunteered his carpentry skills to help install a new door. No one asked him to help. He simply walked over and offered. He and Jeremy have been measuring and talking about this door since October. After nearly cutting off his fingers last month on another project, this man still offered to help us today. He didn't ask for anything, and he did it with a smile. He may not know it, but he showed the love of God today with his actions. I see a Backyard giftcard in his future.

4.   I love Saturdays with Lorelai. She is SO MUCH FUN! I really don't know how else to say that. My heart swells when I think about the love I have for her. I want to remember these days always.

5.   I'm thankful for a God who loves me in spite of who I am. I'm a fake and a phony. To a lot of people, I've got it together. For the most part, I'm doing pretty well. Jesus knows better. Lucky for me, he chooses to love me anyway. That's insane.

6.   I LOVE CHRISTMAS! The lights! The music! The weather! The pictures! And the super cute clothes that I get to dress Lorelai in.

7.   I have wonderful friends that I don't get to spend enough time with. This makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I want to make more of an effort to spend time with the girls. Just us. No husbands. No kids. HA! That would require the husbands taking the kids...which is just nuts.

8.  This post is entirely too long, but if you love me, you're still reading. Either that, or you've got nothing better to do with your time. Hopefully I'm not too big of a waste:)

9.   I should be more thankful. And less selfish. God is allowing me to carry another child, and all I've done since the day I found out is complain. There's a whole other post or 2 in here for this topic, but I'll sum it up with this...my heart is broken for the condition that it is in, and I am praying for healing.

10.   I haven't gotten sick in THREE WHOLE DAYS! That, my friends, is way cool! I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

11.   I want to know the gender of this child I'm incubating. It has taken me a long time to come to terms with this pregnancy, but now I'm ready to know! I'm trying to convince Jeremy that we should do our ultrasound at 18 weeks so that I can know before Christmas. So far, he's not going for it. Keep your fingers crossed.

12.   I want to read my Bible more. Will you say a prayer for me that I will be more faithful?

13.   I'm thankful for the gift of song. I love to sing. I'm not that great, but I still enjoy it. I'm glad people give me a chance to sing.

14. I should go to bed. Sunday mornings are always hectic around our house, and tomorrow will probably be no different.

15.   I hope Jeremy makes biscuits in the morning. The kitchen is in decent shape, so maybe Lo and I will get to enjoy some before church:)